Self-help Books - Vishnu Vijay




The session was about self-help books and how to perceive them. The book in the spotlight was

‘How to win friends and influence people’ by Dale Carnegie.
Disclaimer: Some people consider the ideas from this book to be manipulative. This is far from the truth. They are only manipulative if you make it so. 
The book was written by Dale Carnegie in 1936. In 2020, even after a century, the principles from the book are undeniable. Below are some of the concepts that we discussed in our session:

Spotlight effect: Imagine there is a spotlight above you. When you are talking with a person about himself, the light falls over him. When you talk about yourself, the light falls over you. Your goal is to make sure that the spotlight stays on the other person. 
People are interested to speak about themselves, but they are more interested in hearing what others think about them. Talk to them about themselves and they will never leave you.
A person is more worried about the pimple on his left cheek than thousands of people dying without food and water in Africa.
So, whenever you converse, talk about the other person. Ask questions and let the spotlight fall over him. You can make more friends in two months by becoming interested in other people than you can in two years by trying to get other people interested in you.

Make people feel valued: When you make people feel special, they will come after you again and again. When you genuinely make them feel important, they will be longing to meet you. There are two ways to do it: 
Using their names: A person’s name is the sweetest sound to him in any language. Using their name does wonders especially if you have just met the person. You can establish rapport almost instantaneously.
Using Compliments: People love to be appreciated. Be lavish in your praise. They will associate positive feelings towards you. The next time you see someone with a nice dress, don’t hesitate to compliment them. Chances are that you will be remembered for a long time. Compliments on personality are more appealing than compliments on physical things like a watch or a necklace. We all nostalgically recollect a compliment received even years later. Don’t we?

Be a good listener: Most people do not listen with the intent to understand; they listen with the intent to reply. Let the other person talk. Once it is over, wait a few seconds. If he stays silent, you speak. If he continues, let him do so. Listening is the most underrated skill.  If you make listening and observation your occupation you will gain much more than you can by talk. 

“Too often we underestimate the power of a touch, a smile, a kind word, a listening ear, an honest compliment, or the smallest act of caring, all of which have the potential to turn a life around.”
― Leo Buscaglia

The author has a few more titles to his credit which are equally good:
Art of Public Speaking
How to Stop Worrying and Start Living
The Leader In You, and Life-Changing Secrets from the 3 Masters Success.

    

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